Adventures in Parenting

Honestly, we parents get rather defensive when it comes to people giving us advice about our kids.

Before my brother had his own kids, he would often give me [unsolicited] advice. “Don’t let your son play with that.” or “You’re spoiling him by doing that.”

My response: Wait till you have your own kids.

And sure enough, when he had his own kids, he had a whole new perspective.

However, a good parent should take advice. After all, who can say they know it all?

There is no shortage of parenting books and websites – such as this one! – that offers help for parents. All of them are absolutely useful depending on your particular situations and stage of life.

But if I could recommend just one resource for parents, this is what I recommend:

The best resource for advice for parents is your own children.

Have you ever asked your child “How can I be a better mom/dad to you?”

Wait the minute, you say. I am suppose to be the parent here. I am suppose to have the pearls of wisdom to pass on to my children, not the other way around. I am the one with the life experiences and the education. What do my children know that I don’t?

You might think if you asked your kids about how to be a better parent, they will say, things like “Buy me a pony” or “Give me candy for breakfast.” Actually, quite the contrary.

What they tell you will surprise you.

I asked my daughter, “How can I be a better mom to you?” She gave me some great insight.

She said, “Mom, you’re on the computer too much.” Ouch!

“You say you’ll help me later, and then you don’t.” Ouch again! The sword pierced accurately.

“Sometimes you yell at me when it’s not my fault.” The sword takes a twist!

Where else can I get great insights like that?

The fact is, children have very sharp perceptions of life. The problem is, they don’t tell us because when they do, we don’t listen. We don’t really listen. Our preconceived notion is that they are naive. They don’t know how it is in real life. We know much better then them.

But I am humbled to tell you that my children have given me some of the best parenting advice, when I was ready to listen.

Thank you honey. I needed to know what I am doing wrong as a parent. I will take that advice, change my ways, and be a better parent to you.

Photo by laughlin