Set Your Man Pride Aside
March 6th, 2008 / 10 Comments
This guest post was written by Jared Hoylman, the blogger behind DadThing.com, and most importantly a Dad to a one year old boy named Ace. You can immediately tell that Jared is passionately committed to being a good Dad, which is what drew me to his blog. Enjoy.
I wrote a post the other day about my wife and son, both being sick at the same time. I came home from work early to take care of the little guy so Momma could stay in bed and get to feeling better.
Ace was in pretty bad shape too, and I was the only one there to comfort him. He wouldn’t eat or take a bottle. He was miserable and just kept crying and crying and crying. I could tell that he was very tired, and if I could just get him to lie down, I knew that all would be better. He cried for two hours straight before going to sleep!
I tried everything I knew how to do including singing his favorite song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
One of my readers (who is one heck of a good guy, and is going to be a Dad very soon himself) left a comment:
“…I think any dad that actually sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star deserves Dad of the Year!”
I appreciate the nomination, but this seems like a pretty small task to perform to obtain such a title!
I know the commenter meant well and was telling me that not many Dads would set aside their “Man Pride” to sing a nursery rhyme, but why is this?
What is so bad about a guy that sings Pat-A-Cake? Or Itsy Bitsy Spider? Am I less of a man for doing what it takes to calm the little guy down? Push-ups and beer chugging seem to have little effect on his crying, ya know?
Not only do I sing to my son, I change his diaper. I give him a bath. I put him to bed. I change his clothes, pack the diaper bag, make bottles, and feed him baby food.
I’m betting that after divulging this information that my “Man License” will be revoked, and I will be marked with a big “W” on my forehead, for WIMP!
That’s OK. It doesn’t bother me. Call me a wimp if you want to. What matters to me is that my son knows that I will be there for him no matter what the situation, and no matter how bad the circumstances are!
Ace and I still play with his toy trucks. We wrestle on the floor. When he gets a bit older I will teach him how to hunt, how to use power tools, and do all of those manly man things. But even then I will not be ashamed to show my love for my son.
Ace, Momma, and I make one heck of a good team, and I am proud to be an active participant in the development of a force to be reckoned with…the family bond!
So, my word of advice to all Dads out there is to set your “Man Pride” aside from time to time, and don’t be ashamed to express the feelings you have for your children and family. There is at least one other guy in the world that won’t judge you. 😀
Comments
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Nice post Jared. You know, I’ve been at this Dad gig for almost 18 years. I’ve got a child getting ready to graduate high school and one at home in diapers (with a couple in between).
I consider the Dad’s that won’t sing to their kids, lullabies included, to be the wimps.
Congrats on “guesting”. 🙂
being a real dad doesn’t make you a wimp. quite the opposite. I’ve been raising my two boys solo for a while now and have realized that traditional “Man Pride” is code for being afraid to be a father. It’s good to see more men being fathers, and more men promoting fatherhood.. Being a father is the single biggest source of joy and purpose in my life.
Great post.
Great Post Jared….
Any Man who calls himself a Dad would be proud doing these things. I know I am and I love taking care of my girls. It’s a proper bonding thing.
You’re not alone. To me, doing those things is part of my “Man Pride.” If you can do all those wimpy things without reservation, it makes you even more of a man. Ace will grow up to be a good dad too.
You dads ROCK! We are going to change the world, one child at a time!
Hey Jared,
I’m a single dad of two young beautiful girls, and I only feel it strengthens my “manhood membership” when I sit down to a tea party, play with the big dollhouse, learn to do their hair, etc.
Singing twinkle twinkle little star to your baby boy only re-affirms your membership in manhood, not destroy it.
Hi everybody! Thanks for commenting on my post! Good to see that other Dads feel the same way! I think Elliot hit the nail on the head when he said “To me, doing those things is part of my “Man Pride.—
I read this original post and I STILL think you’re a rock star Dad!!
Jared, you got my vote for Dad of the Year. Sounds like you got all the pieces of a great relationship with Ace!
For mine, singing is powerful. When mine were bubs, I’d rest them against my chest, sing or hum softly in as low a key as I could (and i can get a pretty good bass thing happening) and found the vibration of the notes at that very male pitch soothed them like nothing else did.
Keep up your singing!
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