Quality time with your children
August 2nd, 2008 / 11 Comments
“Mom, what can I have for breakfast?”
I yell from in front of the comfort of my computer screen: “There’s cereal. You can get it yourself.”
My 12-year-old is certainly old enough to get her own breakfast, why should I disturb my ease?
But there were nagging questions going on in my head:
1. Do I want to answer email or spend time with my daughter?
2. Is this one of those precious moments I can grasp to be with my daughter?
3. Can’t I answer email later?
4. Have I been too preoccupied to spend time with my daughter?
5. Am I just being lazy and don’t want to move from my chair?
6. How can I have a parenting site and not do some real parenting at home??
So I got off my bottom, got myself to the kitchen. “Hey, let’s have cereal together, girl.”
Photo by lanuiop
Comments
You did the right thing… too many people pass on spending time with their kids.
Beautiful! Thank God He deals with these areas with love and patience and His wisdom so that as parents, we can follow His lead. Thanks for sharing. This blessed me greatly.
Don’t have a 12 year old or a daughter. However, knowing the awkwardness of the age, sounds to me like she was reaching out to spend time with you but didn’t want to appear too direct. In my book, you made the right decision.
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. Kids don’t often verbalize their needs, but I am sure as with everyone, love = time.
It is so, so hard. It is probably the number one thing I struggle with. My wife and I run a pre-school where both of our children attend. We are with them seven days a week, and yet whenever I want a moment to myself and I hear them chirping for my attention in the background, I feel bad if I ignore them. Yes, I know that I shouldn’t spoil them with overindulgent attention either, and I don’t (or at least I try not to), but I ALWAYS feel guilty.
Writer Dad: You are brave to be around children all day AND night! A little bit of guilt keeps us on our toes…But don’t feel guilty if you go play golf once a week or something 🙂
JY: You are right, and I think you read that on one of my other posts here.
[…] Quality Time With Your Children […]
#6 is one that always gets me too! Writing this way keeps you accountable to your values, doesn’t it.
I think these are good “check-ins”, Katy, that we can all make habits.
Where I also struggle is in knowing when it’s ok to actually say no to the kids, to have time to myself, to get my things done. But I agree with you that the “vacuum” of never-ending demands often robs our kids of their parents’ attention. Good post as always!
Pete: I think when you work at home, it’s appropriate to make it clear when the kids should not disturb you, except for emergencies. Set a timer, ie for one hour. During that hour, whenever they get the urge to tell you something, have them write it down. After one hour, they can go over that list with you.
Setting the timer keeps you from being sucked into that “vacuum.”
[…] Accept the fact that children need you, they are a part of life, and it’s a good thing. Hold on to your own plans loosely, as I have learned with the constant interruptions from my kids. […]
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