Adventures in Parenting

This thoughtful piece is written by my friend who chooses to remain anonymous. I want to let you know I did not in any way prompt him to write this! I admire this 28-year-old young man for appreciating what many take for granted. Thank you, my friend, for this homage to all parents who indeed sacrifice a great deal for their children. (Feel free to forward this to your children!)

As I sat there with my mom talking tonight, I started thinking about how fortunate I am to have such loving parents as I do. My parents gave up so much so that we, as children, can accomplish our dreams. Now they’re doing it once more, helping to raise my two cousins, one of elementary school age and one in middle school.

I have no idea why parents choose to have children. When children are young, like babies, they must be cared for night and day. Parents lose sleep in the middle of the night to tend to crying children. Then they still have to wake up in the morning and go through their entire routine, as if nothing happened. When children are of school age, parents start getting a break when their kids are off in school, but they still work to provide food, watch over their kids when they come home and make sure they do all their homework, and find various ways of making school and life fun. Basically, life seems to end as husband and wife; life now evolves around the children. If parents want a night out, they have to make arrangements with a babysitter and plan the whole night’s activities.

As we got older, we start becoming more rebellious, as if we knew what was right and our parents didn’t. “You just don’t understand” or “It’s different here in America” become common phrases to express our rebellion. Ultimately, it’s our selfishness coming through. Yet my parents just took it in stride, never yelling at us, and still attempted to pass their wise counsel to us, however much we don’t want to listen.

I would be so afraid to be a parent – knowing that you only have one chance at getting it right. How does one balance between letting their kid fail at something and learning their lesson, versus warning them in advance that their kid’s decisions are foolish? How do you support your child’s ambitions yet not be so permissive that he goes and does whatever he wants, regardless of the consequences?

All I know is that my parents gave me so much. They sacrificed their comfortable lives in Hong Kong to move to the United States so we can get a better education – an education that values freedom to choose your future and an education that encourages exploration. They sacrificed their time, choosing to raise a family rather than just having fun together and going on vacations whenever they wanted. They probably spent days upon days struggling with how to raise us to be obedient yet free-thinking children. They got sick with us and cared for us when we couldn’t care for ourselves. They worked so we could play.

Everyone has one life to live, and my parents and so many parents around the world have chosen to dedicate their lives to raising us children. I am in awe of anyone who decides to be a parent.

Photo by anyjazz65