Adventures in Parenting

Everybody talks about her even though they are sick of hearing about her.

Nadya Sulman just confirmed that she will be doing a television show with her 14 children. No surprise there. It’s suppose to be a documentary, not a reality show, where the TV crew only comes to film 6 times a year.  (Source: Life&Style)

I am not into adding more gossip about Octo-mom; she’s  had a lot of bad press.  Whenever I hear about her in the news, I say a prayer for her kids.

There are a number of obvious lessons we can learn from Octo-mom that I won’t list here.

But there are a few lessons that I learn as I think about Octo-mom that I hope we apply to our own situation of being a parent:

1. Give equal attention to each child.

Notice I did not say treat each child equally. That’s just impossible. However, we can give each their share of attention.

The news says the TV show of Octo-mom will continue until “they” are 18 years old. Who are “they” referring to? What happen to the other 6 children? The stars are obviously  the 8 babies, are the other 6 feeling rejected?

You don’t have to have 14 children to inadvertantly pay less attenton to one.  Don’t spend all your time on the high-maintenance child. Be sure to pay attention to the compliant quiet child. Spend time with each one individually.

2. Sharing is good.

I am assuming that Octo-mom is not going to buy 14 Nintendo DSi’s. (Or maybe she will…) The point is that every child do not have to have their own thing when they can share.

It is not easy to teach selfishly-inclined human beings to share. But it is a good thing to learn. Sharing helps to develop negotiating skills, promotes generosity, and reinforces the idea of the family as a unit, not to mention saving money.

3. Respect your children’s privacy.

By this I don’t mean not going through your children’s backpack or look in the drawers. Parents do have a right to anything in the house, especially if there is cause.

What I mean by privacy is not talking to all your friends about your child’s life. As much as Octo-mom says  the 6 times a year filming for the TV show is not going to infringe on the kids’ privacy, the fact is, it will infringe on the kids’ privacy.

Parents have a tendency, perhaps a need, to share stories with other parents. But remember to talk only about what would not embarrass or intrude on the privacy of your child, no matter what age.  If not, later on you don’t have to wonder why your child doesn’t tell you anything.